Does exactly what it says on the tin. All of the things that you should read up on before you join... After reading these; you might re-consider joining in with all the crazies.

Hate to be a party pooper, little peoples, but this board is for the staff members only. It's where we talk about pie, Heroes, Gossip Girl, Frank Iero, Josh Farro... Oh, and did I mention pie?

Just because the kids in this place are crazy, doesn't mean that there's never any news in this place. Any announcements [in character or out of character] shall be posted here for all to see.

If you ever have any questions about this site, whether you're a guest or a member, then don't be scared to start a thread here; and one of our lovely two admins or our helpful members will point you in the right direction. [NOTE: don't forget to check the site announcements or questions that people have already asked, so we don't have to keep answering the same questions. We may start an FAQ after a while, so you can always check there too.]

Ah, yes... the almighty applications board. This is where the application template is kept; along with all pending, accepted and [on very rare occasions] declined applications are kept. This should be your first stop - after you've read the rules, of course. ALL UNFINISHED THAT ARE POSTED SHALL BE DELETED AFTER A MONTH, AND ANY GUEST POSTED APPLICATIONS WILL BE DELETED UPON DISCOVERY. BE WARNED!.

This should be your second stop after reading the rules; but your first stop after being accepted. Confusing? Why thank you. Celebrity claim; journal claim; photo album claim; and a few other claims are all kept within here. The most important claim is the celebrity claim, so make sure you at least claim your celebrity.

All relationship trees/plots/whatever you want to call them are kept within here. You don't have to post it straight away, but if you don't have one soon then I'll have to go and prod your buttocks with a stick.

Another form of 'expressing your feelings' that is reccomended by the psychiatrist. If you aren't very good at art, then try your hand at just letting your feelings straight out or write some poems. But if you think that takes up too much brain power, then you can always just make lots of scribbles on the page as a way to vent your anger.

It does exactly what it says on the title... But if you aren't that clever, the photo albums are kept in here so you can look back on the happier times, before you got sent to this hell hole for whatever reason.

The fence is a huge fence, topped with barbed wire that always rips chunks off of your clothes whenever you try and jump over it to escape. Or, some kids prefer to just sit and wonder what it would be like to live in the outside world again. Not that they ever will.

The fountain is placed on the gravel path between the big gates and the building itself in some ridiculous attempt to make this hell hole look just a little bit more appealing. It's quite pleasant to sit infront of it and listen to the sound of the water; even though it makes you want to pee and the gravel tends to make your butt uncomfortable.

The garden is around the back of the building; and is probably the best kept part in the whole place. The rain usually keeps the flowers in good shape, as the nurses can never be bothered to water them, although there are one or two green fingered patients about the place.

Technically, the courtyard isn't an actual courtyard. It's just a big, wide patch of grass near the gardens that people call the courtyard because it sounds better than 'that big patch of grass not far from the gardens'. The nurses rarely come around here so it's nice to just come and get away from all the crap you've been through over the last few years.

The tennis and basketball courts are reasonably big, yet still only covers a little area of the courtyard. It's a nice place if you're sick of chucking a ball at the wall and want to chuck it at a fence instead, or you just want to be alone.

The visitors area is usually where the patients' family are supposed to come and visit. Nobody ever bothers to come here anymore, because after months of sitting on one of the armchairs and waiting for somebody to come; they've learnt that nobody ever will. Although it's quite nice if you want to be alone because the chairs are the comfiest ones in the whole place.

This whole place is full of twist and turns, hallways and corners. It's quite handy if you're being chased by the nurses, because if you can run fast enough and turn enough corners then you can usually shake them off. Just make sure not to run into any dead ends.

The library here is probably the oldest part of the building. The roof is full of cracks which makes it look close to caving in and you can probably knock a gigantic hole in the wall with just one blow. The books are just as old - the pages are a murky yellow colour, covered in dust, and if you aren't too carefull then they fall to pieces in your hands. It's not all bad, though, considering there's no librarian to glare at you all the time; so you can make as much noise as you feel like making.

Just because you're mentally unstable and crazy doesn't mean that you can get out of a decent education. Well actually, you can here. The nurses are supposed to teach you Science, Math and English - but as they don't have the right qualifications; they never even bother.

Just like English, the nurses aren't fully qualified [well, actually, they aren't qualified at all...] but they still expect you to turn up for class. The thing is, even though they expect you to turn up they rarely even turn up themselves - mainly because they're too busy chasing you around the place.

Blah... The T.V room isn't exactly great, so I wouldn't advise you get your hopes up. The chairs are battered, tatty leather things that the nurses got from a car boot sale and stick to you during the summer. The t.v is a crappy little thing from the times when colour television had only just been invented, but somebody has messed with the white balance so everybody's skin looks a sickly fuscia colour.

This is probably the nurses' worst subject of all. They're all terrible at math, and it shows, so they usually spy their chances and use the math lessons to pump you full of drugs when you least expect it.

The phsychologists recommend that if you 'express your emotions' through art instead of shredding up your wrists, then you'll get out of here faster. It's all trash - nobody ever gets out of here - but look at it this way: they don't yell at you for drawing on the walls.

Ah, yes, the drama room... Some would say that the kids here have been through enough drama for one lifetime, but others say that pretending to be somebody else can help them forget about all the crap that they've been made to suffer through for all of their lives.

BANG! CRASH! BANG! D'you hear that? No, it's not the nurses chasing the patients about the place again [for a change]. It's the patients in the music room. Even though the nurses hate us; the pshyciatrists keep the music and art room well stocked because they think that art and music will stop things getting any worse. Pffft.

Well... The food here at No Way Back isn't exactly gourmet, to say the least. The kitchen and the eating areas aren't really in the best of conditions, because the nurses can never be bothered to clean up and leave it to the patients, who are too busy being chased to clean up.

For some reason, there's a staircase that leads straight up to the roof of No Way Back. It's quite relaxing to sit up there, but some of the patients that have been here longer claim that a few kids have commited suicide up there. The nurses haven't stopped you going up there, though - they don't give a toss if you jump off the roof and kill yourself or not.

The bathrooms are... sort-of clean... But I would still advise wearing something on your feet when you go in, and preferably wearing a swimming costume or something; because the doors have broken off alot of the cubicles.

Because the nurses are too cheap to build two seperate buildings for the girl's and boy's dorms, they have to share one building. Boys aren't allowed to share rooms with girls, though.

Compared to the condition that the patient's dorms are in, the nurse's dorms are like luxury suites in the Ritz - which makes you wonder what makes them all so grumpy. I'd reccomend staying away from here, because they actually have a supply of every patient's drugs in their dorms so it's handy.

Have you ever seen those big rooms with white padded walls and floors where crazy people sit in straight jackets mumbling to themselves? Yeah, that's exactly what Solitary Confinement is - minus the strait jackets. Be warned, though; if you get too crazy the nurses do have some on hand.

Been caught shredding up your wrists again? Then you'll be send down here to get stiched up - but don't mention the fact that you plan on pulling them out later. Thankfully, they have a couple of the nicer nurses on the Hospital Wing duty, so they do take some pity on you.

It's the guy that all the patients love to hate. He treats everybody like they're three years old, making you talk through puppets [which is stupid because at least a quarter of the kids here don't even speak] and look at strange pictures then asking you what they look like. He also gives you the worst advice in the world, claiming that 'expressing your feelings' through art and music will stop you shredding your wrists to pieces. Pfft, who told him all this crap?

It's very, very hard to choose if you're safer roaming alone on the streets or stuck in No Way Back; to tell the truth. During the day, you're probably safer on the streets in public - but at night, you're better off back at No Way Back, no matter how crazy it sounds. You never know who's lurking in the dark streets at night.

The Hashford Café is one of those little traditional, sleepy café's not far from No Way Back that only the locals tend to know about. It used to be quite popular at one point; until people became obsessed with modern coffee shops like Starbucks and Café Nero, so people tend to forget about it.

Trailwood Park [don't ask where it got it's name] is the perfect place to just come and re-live the better times by playing on the swings for a little while. If you've come to relax for a bit, then I reccomend staying away from the playground - although, the screams of little children is much more peaceful than the screams of everybody at No Way Back.

If you can't take another night in No Way Back or the nurses are chasing you and you hate to think what they've got in store for you; then come to the Graystone Inn. The owner, a kind and recently widowed old lady, had a brother who was sent to St. Tristian's so she takes pity on any of the patients; letting them have a free room for the night and a decent meal for a change.

Thread trackers are handy ways to keep track of all the threads your character[s] are involved in, so that you don't let anybody down by not posting in a thread for months because you forgot all about it. We don't want that to happen!

Yes, I know this is the Out Of Character section... But I didn't know where else to put this, 'kay? Post your Thread Trackers, ask for somebody to play a certain character for you/start a plot, or just see if there's anybody who wants to reply to your open thread.

Just talk about random... well... stuff here. Like PIE! Yes yes, we LOVE to talk about pie here. And any other random topics that just seem to appear inside of our random little minds. Yesh yesh.

Come here and jabber on about yourself for a little while whilst you wait for somebody to reply to one of your threads. Who knows? You might find out that you have alot in common with some of our crazy lovely little members round here.

If you're only going away for a little while or leaving us forever; purty please tell us here so we know about your absence. If you are leaving us temporarily, if you could give us a slight idea of when you'll be back then we shall hug you. If you're leaving us forever and not coming back, please tell us so that we know.

Wheee! Come and play some totally random games here. The admins [mainly Holly] do seem to have a love of games to do with music... But feel free to start some utterly random ones of your own - OOC only, please.

This is the board where all adverts must, shall and will be posted. Guest friendly, obviously. We don't bite . . . At least, Holly doesn't... PRO-BOARDS ONLY PLEASE, NOT ACCEPTING AFFILIATES; SORRY FOR INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE!